In the past couple of posts I’ve mentioned depression. I won’t go into all of the causes, reasons, whatevers here — my close friends and family know, and that is enough. What is making it even more difficult this time is the loss of dreams, of hopes for the future… specific ones that had come to have so much meaning and promise in my life. Now I am left holding air and the faded shreds of old dreams, staring into the unknown.
Some have heard me say that Sara Groves “sings my life”. The chorus of this song has crept into my head, and, well, I want it to be the song of my heart.
From this one place I can’t see very far.
In this one moment I’m square in the dark.
These are the things I will trust in my heart:
You can see something else, something else.
One of the things I’ve been wrestling with this Advent is that God is a God of the impossible. I am still learning what that means. But I am praying that he will plant a little seed in the remnants of my heart and that that little seed will grow into a dream. And that prayer, maybe, will give me Hope.