By any other name

Who knew that moving across the sea meant that I would plagued with being mistaken for a famous popstar? I need to learn how to pronounce my name with an English or Scottish accent lest my identity continue to be confused. Then the pharmacists and shop clerks would no longer look at me in puzzlement, and bankers wouldn’t think that my housemate is trying to transfer funds to someone who already has millions. It’s too bad that no one makes the reverse mistake — particularly the bankers — because then I could pay for my education. I have one glimmer of hope: the shop clerk told me today that the popstar is no longer going by her married name — let’s hope it sticks.