I am getting better. I can sit upright and breathe through my nose and walk into town, but I am still not well. I am trying to take it easy and actually get well this time—not just “well enough”. I have been unwell so frequently and so persistently this year that my ability to stay positive wavers. I am tired of being ill. I am tired of being medicated all the time. I am tired of trying not to complain. I am tired of feigning normalcy when the alternative would be a very slow, very painful degeneration.
Someday, there will be no more pain, no more illness. There will be eternity to read every book that has ever been written, learn every language that has ever been spoken, visit all the stars that have ever shone, and dance with every angel that has ever spun on that crystal sea.
For today: stubbornness, resignation, and hope.